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Assertiveness: What is it? How to learn to be an assertive person?

There is a skill that is regularly referenced in communication and social skills training; It is that ability that brings together the behaviors and thoughts that allow us to defend the rights of each one without attacking or being attacked. This majestic ability is known in the world of psychology as assertiveness.

What is assertiveness?

It is that middle point between aggressiveness and passivity , where the wishes of each can be expressed openly and honestly, without allowing them to manipulate us, or manipulate the other to act in accordance with what we want.

Being assertive is a way of behaving that ensures the attention and respect of other people.  It means being able to defend your own rights or the rights of other people in a calm and positive way. It is a vital communication tool in our times.

The assertive person expresses in a direct but adequate way their points of view and emotional needs , always with respect and without the intention of offending

The ability to be assertive allows individuals to act in their own interest, advocate for another and stand up for themselves without undue anxiety, express honest feelings comfortably, and express their personal rights without denying the rights of others.

To be assertive, you must have the ability to manage anxiety levels , manage frustration and control intrusive thoughts , since these are one of the most frequent causes of aggressive behavior in individuals.

How to communicate assertively?

  • Describe concrete facts
  • Manifest our feelings and thoughts -communicate in a forceful and clear way how what has happened makes us feel and what we think about it-
  • Ask in a concrete and operational way what we want
  • Specify the consequences
  • Listen to the opinions of others and respond appropriately
  • Respect other people’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs
  • Act calm and positive
  • Appropriate body language: eye contact, non-intimidating body posture, appropriate gestures, a well-modulated voice, and finding the right moment to get the message across
  • Know how to level the levels of self – esteem
  • Before expressing what you want, you must be sure of that
  • Accept responsibilities and be able to delegate them
  • Recognize the situations in which it is best to keep quiet
  • Express gratitude for situations that warrant it
  • Know how to admit mistakes and have the ability to apologize
  • Maintain self-control and self-confidence
  • Have a good empathic skill 
  • Be respectful and self- confident
  • Know how to control anxiety levels
You may also be interested in:   Personality test

Does assertiveness increase job success?

Assertiveness is a highly necessary skill in the workplace. Being assertive in the workplace is a frequently misunderstood concept as most confuse assertiveness with being aggressive and domineering. In some cases, assertiveness is misused by people, to feel recognized and empowered in their workplace, but according to research, when the – mistakenly called – “assertiveness” is misused in the workplace, most people become they feel powerless and subjugated. This is because they cannot express themselves clearly and confidently.

In a workplace, there are those who are overlooked , and due to their passive communication they are seen as uncertain, indecisive with lack of confidence and weak. There are also those who try to emphasize power and dominate situations but aggressively , humiliating and disrespecting employees with lower positions. Some research suggests that to be a good leader you have to be respected, but the way to be respected is far from aggressive, because respect is earned and must be mutual, otherwise we are not talking about respect we are talking about fear or obligation. Recent research discards the idea that the leader It must be a person who implies fear in other employees, on the contrary, a good leader must know how to understand the needs of other employees, also their own needs and work needs.

Social workers need to develop their assertiveness and practice it with service users and within a multidisciplinary team. Social workers or customer service personnel may face problems of commitment with users, which requires great clarity about the role they must fulfill. Assertiveness is useful in this position due to its nature of not being pushy, but being clear and precise in the expression given to the client. It has been shown that assertive people are usually more successful not only at work but also personally.

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Hello Readers, I am Nikki Bella a Psychology student. I have always been concerned about human behavior and the mental processes that lead us to act and think the way we do. My collaboration as an editor in the psychology area of ​​Well Being Pole has allowed me to investigate further and expand my knowledge in the field of mental health; I have also acquired great knowledge about physical health and well-being, two fundamental bases that are directly related and are part of all mental health.

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