Child insecurity syndrome

Insecurity in children is a process that is often part of childhood, but much can be done to improve the situation. Existing an exchange between the child and his environment, in the face of changes produced in the latter, transformations must necessarily be caused in the former.

What is the syndrome of insecurity in the child?

Fear emerges as an inevitable phenomenon when there is a displacement of the basic structure and with it a modification of the internal balance, which on the strictly organic plane translates as pain, discomfort or displeasure and on the psychic plane as fear and anguish that paralyzes the to be.

Preschool children (from birth to six years) are sensitive to the smallest changes that can occur in their environment . His world is his family environment , which is permeable to external influences, that is why the child permanently collects the tensions and characteristics of the socio-cultural environment.

The gross modifications of their environment, such as the death of their parents, determine strong depressive anxieties and important experiences of insecurity and fear.

Why happens?

Although much minor alterations can also trigger insecurity in the same picture , for example: change of house, room, pillow, loss of a toy, late arrival of parents, etc.

At this age they like repetitions , they assure them, as a response to alterations in the existential field that are experienced as threatening to the subject, a dissociation occurs.

Children who suffer from an insecurity syndrome usually have a very limited or no level of empathy , low self-esteem and little self-confidence .

As children grow older, they may not be able to understand emotions in themselves and not in others. They tend to present anxiety disorders , have regressive behaviors -such as regression in toilet training-, or an obsessive behavior of dominating and controlling situations.

Children who lack secure attachments to their caregivers commonly grow up to be parents who are unable to establish this crucial foundation with their own children.

What function does the accompanying object serve?

It is to carry with them an object that is familiar to them or that represents the familiar in some way. It is about taking his family environment in him and with him, therefore when the child is forced for some reason to abandon his environment, this object magically acts as a reinsurance instrument, preventing the modification of his existential field from being total, that the experiences of insecurity and loneliness affect in an excessively overwhelming way.

The child can partially accept the change of his existential scope in the presence and belonging of his companion object, but when he is deprived of it, he presents immediately and in an equivocal way the signs of insecurity.

What does the object of possession tell us?

It is a sign of adaptation and acceptance of a new environment , the child begins to transport home objects that exist in the new environment. Report a positive and accepting emotional relationship, of joy and comfort with the new environment.

Both objects pivot around the same axis, which is the feeling of insecurity . The magical mechanism of the accompanying object lies in the distortion of space-time through which the family environment is transferred to other places.

Instead, the object of possession is a rewarding object in itself because generally its own nature is particularly attractive to the child and he does not share it, it is something valuable, personal and private that he has acquired and does not want to involve others.

He witnesses his possibility of expanding the everyday world, which means an affirmation of himself and of new possibilities.

Characteristic signs and symptoms of insecurity

Faced with the experience of insecurity, there is a regression to previous stages of development , such as:

Alterations in motor behaviors

• As regressive forms : abandonment of the bipedal position, denial of walking, crawling, request to be picked up in arms, regression in graphic expressions – drawings -. As non-regressive forms : bizarre modality when walking, gestures or mannerisms.

Alterations in behavior related to affectivity

• Call for attention, crying screaming, precocious language he asks “upa”, he constantly asks things that he already knows, irrational fears.

Alterations in eating behavior

•  Anorexia , selective rejection, vomiting, nausea, prolonged chewing, slow or primitive swallowing, loss of elementary habits, such as handling cutlery, bad manners, chewing noises, belching, etc.

Alterations in bathing behavior

• Marked resistance to general sanitation, dependence on the mother to carry it out.

Alterations in the behavior of the breast

• T ratornos of sleep as restless sleep, somniloquy, night terrors, insomnia , wake up several times at night and cries to his parents, asks let the light of the lit room, the door open, leaves aside his parents bed Until he has fallen asleep, marked resistance to cost himself, he asks stories to be told and they take him by the hand, not wanting to fall asleep.

Alterations in relationship behavior

• He becomes irritable, does not obey, performs acts that he should not, hits his playmates, cries inconsolably, communicates aggressively, destroys toys, performs self-confrontational acts. Opposed to this, he becomes withdrawn, shy, avoids eye contact and physical contact with other people, is quiet, still, withdrawn, and is socially awkward.

Alterations in gambling behavior

• They adopt games from previous ages, excessively repetitive games, games that arouse fear or decrease their interest in the game .

Performance disturbances

• Decrease or presence of learning difficulties.

Alterations in mimicry and language

• Mannerisms, strange gestures, sometimes very comical and dramatic, stuttering, dyslalias.

Appearance of masturbatory behaviors

• That can reach compulsive characters.

How to help a child suffering from an insecurity syndrome?

If we are parents and we believe that our child may be suffering from an insecurity syndrome, we can take careful measures to prevent him from continuing to advance.

As parents we must allow our child to initiate interactions, either with us or with other people. It is very important that the child feels safe and the interactions that they carry out are with their consent.

Show assertiveness to the child

We must not be passive or aggressive , but we must be assertive , in this way our child will understand that the ways to express their desires, needs and concerns is by being direct and speaking calmly, but with a definite purpose.

If our rhythm of life seems rushed, we can try to have a slower rhythm to allow the child to explore his outer and inner world and to connect with his environment and the people around him without hurry or limitations.

Another way to help your child is to prepare him for new situations, and to help him label and decipher his feelings. Family and individual psychotherapy can be an effective treatment to help the child manage his feelings, understand them and process them in the best way.

Children often worry and do not realize the underlying cause, so psychotherapy can provide him and the parents with an environment where they can talk about what is happening and show him the essentials of processing his emotions.

With the necessary tools, the child will be able to develop his conscience and acquire certain skills that will help him to recognize and work in various situations that occur to him.

This video is a good complement to the article

Watch this video, it is an excellent supplement to this article and we leave it here as a summary:

If you have a child with insecurity problems, you can leave your comments, doubts and experiences below (do not hesitate to read the other comments, surely some situation similar to yours has already been published and can help you). And if you know someone with a child who is going through this, you can share this article .