The premature ejaculation is one of the most common dysfunctions in men. It occurs in the plateau phase. Basically we could define this dysfunction as the tendency in the male to reach orgasm quickly, causing a precipitous ejaculation.
There are different levels of severity. The most serious is the one that occurs before penetration. At other times, however, orgasm occurs after few intravaginal movements. These can be considered the mildest cases.
Establishing a temporary diagnostic criterion, as was done previously, in which the seconds elapsed from the beginning of penetration to ejaculation were counted, does not make much sense. There is no “normal time” for premature ejaculation.
The sensation of speed corresponds to the conceptualization, established in the couple, about sexual behavior.
In some cases, both understand that this type of relationship must be quick, so there is no discomfort because the male orgasm arrives early.
On other occasions, it is the cultural or educational variables that identify this speed as a symbol of virility, with which there will be no feeling of discomfort or failure in either the man or his partner.
Causes of premature ejaculation
As in other sexual dysfunctions, the origin of premature ejaculation can be found in two aspects: one physiological and the other psychological. Although it is the psychic aspect that seems to be the most frequent substrate in most cases.
In the medical section, the anomalies are related to alterations of the prostate gland or inflammation of the genitals. These problems are usually very rare in premature ejaculation diagnoses.
From a psychological point of view, it seems that there is a certain consensus in attributing the causes of this dysfunction to two factors: the speed of early sexual experiences that have been conditioned and the anxiety activated in situations of a sexual nature.
How is it produced?
Men who do not suffer from premature ejaculation are not able to explain why and how they have gained control over their orgasm. It does seem that they are capable of recognizing the different levels of sexual tension and, once they are close to ejaculating, modifying the activity in such a way as to decrease the level of tension, either by going backward, by slowing down the rhythm of coital movements, by changing the inclination in penetration … In the case of men with premature ejaculation, these internal signals are not perceived, evidencing, at the same time, a lack of knowledge of strategies to reduce sexual tension.
An explanatory theory of why premature ejaculation occurs is based on highlighting the speed with which early sexual experiences develop both individually and as a couple. The first that man experiences are either nocturnal pollutions or masturbations. In both cases, speed is the key, since in the former it cannot control the time, and in the latter, the uncertainty about the possibility of being surprised also conditions brevity.
Other circumstances that can help to produce the association between sexuality and precipitation are: relationships with prostitutes (who encourage speed to serve more clients and therefore earn more money); youthful sexual experiences in places where they can be “caught” (cars, parks, stairs…); Teen games (Who masturbates the fastest? Who ejaculates first?) …
Another theory highlights anxiety as a reason for premature ejaculation. The electrical and chemical changes that it produces in the nervous system can accelerate the ejaculation reflex. At the same time, performance anxiety aggravates the loss of control, producing a vicious cycle that, in many cases, degenerates into secondary impotence .
In conclusion, it seems that there is a part of the response in premature ejaculation that is conditioned, while the maintenance of the feeling of loss of control feeds on the levels of anxiety. That is, once some experiences of this type have been experienced, for some time, the man can begin to feel fear and anguish. These alterations, at certain levels, produce a blockage in the man that prevents him from recognizing the different levels of sexual tension. The result is that orgasm occurs without the male having the opportunity to try some strategy, if he knows it, that will help him control ejaculation.
What effects does it produce?
The consequences of premature ejaculation can be very varied. If the man does not usually have a fixed partner, this dysfunction can develop low self-esteem that will not be limited exclusively to the area of sexuality but can lead to alterations in other personal areas. In these cases, it can even lead to other psychological problems such as depression.
The social phobia is another possible derivation of premature ejaculation because, to avoid facing situations where possible sexual contacts, social relations are propitiate be reduced. When the man has more stable romantic experiences; Premature ejaculation causes serious stress on the couple.
Although women tend to be very understanding of this dysfunction, in many cases, they accuse the man of being selfish and thinking only of himself. This causes several reactions.
Some women avoid sexual contact so that conflict situations do not occur, however, with this the only thing that they cause is that, in the few experiences that are maintained, ejaculation is more difficult to control due to previous abstinence. Other repercussions lead partners to seek sex outside of their regular partner to make sure they are not the problem. In most cases, premature ejaculation is a very frustrating dysfunction for the dyad, although there are generally effective solutions.
How is it diagnosed?
The first thing to do is eliminate the possibility that there is a physiological basis that could cause premature ejaculation problems. If the patient is referred for the urologist’s consultation, this possibility is already eliminated. If you go directly to the psychologist, a medical report is necessary in this regard. Cases that, as has already been commented in the What produces it? Section, are very rare.
Once the organic base has been discarded, it is convenient to refer to the first moment in which the problem began. All the antecedents must be identified: the early sexual experiences, the description of the thoughts that appear during the premature ejaculation and the analysis of the events and reactions of the couple that occurred afterwards.
Likewise, the same procedure will be carried out with the relationships that occurred later. Where did they take place? With sex workers, stable or sporadic partners? Has the man’s reaction been to avoid sexual contact or has he continued to repeat experiences of lack of control?
In these cases, if the man has a stable relationship, it is convenient to collect the impressions of the partner to analyze the situation and see if, in addition to the intervention in the sexual sphere, couples therapy is necessary.
Treatment for premature ejaculation
When premature ejaculation is severe, a more systematic procedure is prescriptive.
- Squeeze Technique: As orgasm approaches, the stimulation stops and she places her thumb on the frenulum of the penis, and the index and middle finger between the crown of the glans and the shaft of the penis to squeeze for 4 seconds. Thus lowers the excitement of man The collaboration of a partner is necessary as it is more effective when performed by the woman.
- Although daily sexual intercourse is not mandatory, a minimum regular frequency of three times a week is advisable.
- In each session it is necessary to use the squeeze technique six to eight times. One of the postures that most help ejaculatory control is the lateral position.
- Vaginal penetration is not advisable until special mention is made in the procedure.
When premature ejaculation is mild, two procedures have been used that, in some cases, have given results.
- One of them is to ejaculate a couple of times, at least three hours before having sexual intercourse with the partner. In this way, the man has less urge to ejaculate at the time of intercourse. Previous ejaculations can be through individual masturbation or with your partner.
- Another procedure is to drink a moderate amount of alcohol. This substance, as a central nervous system depressant, reduces the immediacy of the reflex without eliminating sexual sensations.
What is not advisable is to use creams whose objective is to deaden the man’s arousal, since, in addition to being ineffective, the effects are also transmitted to the woman, altering their own sensitivity.
When should I go to the psychologist?
A specialist should be consulted when the sensation of failure in sexual relations, due to the rapidity of ejaculation, is perceived as worrying for the man or his partner. We should not be concerned about the lack of control in ejaculation when it occurs as isolated episodes due to previous periods of sexual abstinence or other factors.
However, we must not forget that looking for excuses to justify a continued pattern of premature ejaculation may risk exacerbating the problem and postponing the start of sexual therapy. Delaying the request for help to the specialist also brings with it contamination in the couple’s relationships due to the frustrations and anguish produced in the sexual sphere.
Hello Readers, I am Nikki Bella a Psychology student. I have always been concerned about human behavior and the mental processes that lead us to act and think the way we do. My collaboration as an editor in the psychology area of Well Being Pole has allowed me to investigate further and expand my knowledge in the field of mental health; I have also acquired great knowledge about physical health and well-being, two fundamental bases that are directly related and are part of all mental health.