After analyzing the definition offered by the Royal Spanish Academy of Language (RAE), it can be seen that resilience is nothing more than the potential that human beings have to calmly assume situations that could be exasperating, but do not become a limitation to overcome them.
However, in the field of psychology , the concept of resilience takes on another important value, since it is assumed as the capacity to face or withstand any crisis that is generally traumatic; But when the storm passes, they are beneficial for personal growth.
What is resilience?
Resilience at its best speaks of the new structure of mental and psychological resources in the face of new needs and circumstances that arise along the way. So, people who are resilient , in addition to having the virtue of being able to overcome the different adversities that arise in their lives, can go one step further and take these events to develop their potential.
The resilient person does not live surrounded by complaints about a hard or complicated life , but assumes difficult moments as part of the normal and natural process that they may face. Therefore , it is nothing more than a positive and different method to see life; because this optimism allows them to be aware that calm will come after the storm.
The good attitude can even be so great that those who are resilient enjoy a good sense of humor and usually surprise others in the midst of difficulties , which raises questions about how it is possible to smile before such a gray panorama.
How can you be more resilient?
It should be noted that it is not an empirical or innate quality in the human being. That is, it is not present at birth, much less in our genes; although there may be a kind of genetic tendency, the fact of having a passive character. But what’s interesting about resilience is that it can be developed by anyone along the way , regardless of age or circumstances.
There are people who make resilience their own because they have been subjected to a calm and quiet teaching; with resilience, so they have had an example to follow. While others have managed to be resilient beings on their own with the help of some life circumstances. Which means that we all have the ability to be resilient , only if we make noticeable changes in daily habits.
This is where the famous phrase that, they do not do but are done, applies very well, in relation to the resilient person ; He has been the victim of failure, of frustrations, of problems, but being on the verge of such problems has prompted him to develop interesting skills to continue with the challenges of the day to day.
How do you know if a person is resilient?
Is aware of their limitations and potentialities
When a person knows himself , it is much easier for him to face problems, because they use such capacity to his advantage, because he knows from his strengths to his abilities, as well as the shortcomings and limitations. This helps the resilient person to set realistic goals that encompass their wishes and dreams, but also those resources with which they will be able to move forward.
A person with the ability to enjoy the art of resilience does not focus solely on hitting the broken glass and leaving it that way, because it goes a little further and seeks to transform its appearance, with a mosaic for example, all to bring out something striking and creative from what could be a ruin.
Trust your abilities
Since they already have a prior knowledge of their limitations and qualities, then the resilient person learns to trust himself and what he can do. In addition, all this helps the resilient person not lose sight of their goals, as well as having the assurance that they will be able to achieve that and more. Sure, they are also very aware of the relevance of teamwork and are open to help when needed.
Take difficulties as an opportunity for learning
Most of the people experience problems that demotivate and cause a lot of pain, but being a resilient person, such difficulty becomes a real learning not to fall by the wayside. As a result of such a situation, they create the ideal environment to generate changes in their life, in their attitude and even in their personality, everything so that it is possible to grow and learn from mistakes.
Capable of being fully accepted
Resilience allows the person to enjoy full acceptance , so they live the present at its best; understanding that the past is no longer a priority and the future does not generate greater uncertainty or concern. So they accept what they have to live without looking for unevenness, they only focus on making the most of the situation to enjoy the small details that hide great value.
Live objectively without losing your optimism
They are very objective beings thanks to the fact that they know what their capacities, limitations and real scope are, but always hand in hand with an optimistic attitude; since they do not lose sight of the fact that there is always something positive in every challenge.
Surrounds himself with people with a positive attitude
Those who practice the art of resilience learn to cultivate good friendships, generally with the same characteristics; so they surround themselves with that positive attitude of people and stay away from those that may be detrimental to maintain their resilience. In addition, these relationships will allow them to support each other in much more difficult situations.
Control your emotions
The stress always is associated with controlling every aspect wanting happens in life, so to not do always the guilt touches the door. But, in the case of the resilient person, he knows that it is not worth controlling everything and changing reality, but rather maintaining control of emotions.
It is flexible to changes
Although the person with resilience is clear about what they are going to achieve, they also have enough flexibility to modify their plans and change goals if necessary. That is, by being resilient they are completely open to changes and analyze new alternatives, without being limited to a single exit.
It fulfills its purpose
In relation to the previous point, it does not mean that they have submission to give up the goals or objectives they have; On the contrary, they emerge an excellent capacity for perseverance and fight for what they want to achieve with the right motivation to remain firm until the end.
Face difficult moments with humor
They can smile, make a joke or even laugh at problems while they are happening, since humor represents a vital ally to keep optimism at its best, thus allowing a focus on the positive aspects to be essential.
Seek help and social support from others
At the moment when a resilient person goes through a traumatic moment, the need to overcome motivates them to seek help and support, understanding the importance that this can have in their life.
Main characteristics of resilience
- They quickly detect the causes of the problem.
- They control their emotions well.
- They keep the bed in the face of high pressure episodes.
- They have a realistic vision.
- They fully trust who they are and what they can do.
- They enjoy empathy with themselves and with others.
- They can be self-motivated.
- They act immediately without waiting for bad thoughts to arrive.
Can children be resilient?
So that the little ones in the house can face the circumstantial problems of life in the best way, it is important that each child can build an environment of resilience ; so the example is vital to achieve it successfully.
Of course, it is not about avoiding the fall or the blows; but rather to teach to get up with optimism, and that goes hand in hand with the parents fully trusting the child. It’s also not the right thing to do to expose them to complicated scenarios so they can learn.
But, with small actions it is possible to collaborate so that children enjoy the capacity of resilience, such as; When going through a difficult situation, be willing to ask them: what did you learn from what happened to you? Do you see good in everything bad that happened?
This will help children to visualize a picture of opportunity even if not everything went well, always with empathy , optimism and confidence. Throughout this process, family support, especially that of parents, is essential to face any difficulty with due confidence.
It is certainly not an easy task, neither for children nor for adults, since many times the emotional part can take over the organism and prevent the vision from being clear and positive. However, as we mentioned at the beginning, it is not a difficult or impossible task, with dedication, the correct motivation and effort, the possibility of becoming a resilient person opens .
Tips for resilience
To become resilient, it is important to set some clear and simple goals on a day-to-day basis, this will allow little by little the ability to be resilient to become normal and everyday, not only for you but also for the environment around you. These are some tips that you can take into account:
- Trust what you do and can achieve.
- Foster quality friendships with good values.
- Be encouraged to make changes.
- Analyze 3 positive factors in each problem you experience.
- Seek company in difficult times.
- Don’t think about why but about the solution.
- Set realistic goals that you can meet on a daily basis.
- Do not close yourself to other alternative solutions or help.
- Avoid self-confrontation and becoming a personal enemy.
- Act with determination and determination.
In addition to all this, it is important to take into account the factors that sustain resilience , such as:
- Family relationships that are fostered in a good relationship of trust, personal support and understanding, allows the person who wants to increase their levels of resilience to feel with the right capacity.
- Having a realistic vision, without falling into positive or negative extremism, helps to visualize feasible solutions without fantasizing about impossible things.
- Enjoying self – esteem is essential so that the person does not get stuck in wanting to continue developing resilience in his life, since he will feel supportive of himself.
- The emotional intelligence is the main base being resilient, despite requiring a lot of work and effort, allowing the capabilities and limitations are known face difficulties.
By following these tips, you will be better prepared to face not only the problems that arise along the way; also the opportunity to learn, grow and enjoy a clear, optimistic and positive outlook for the future. In addition, it will allow the person on the path to resilience to feel strong and capable to continue.
It should be noted that the importance of developing a capacity such as resilience , as well as it can personally help to have a better attitude towards life, greatly improves the body’s well-being, avoids stress , worries, and therefore ; consequent illnesses that may ensue.
So when you start looking at things from another perspective or vision, problems will automatically start to change , not to disappear on their own, but to have an appearance without so much pressure, anguish or worry. Even the way you see things can change so much that you can even enjoy the process while smiling placidly.
If after reading all this interesting information you still consider that you cannot become a person capable of being resilient, do not forget that we can all develop resilience in its maximum splendor.
Hello Readers, I am Nikki Bella a Psychology student. I have always been concerned about human behavior and the mental processes that lead us to act and think the way we do. My collaboration as an editor in the psychology area of Well Being Pole has allowed me to investigate further and expand my knowledge in the field of mental health; I have also acquired great knowledge about physical health and well-being, two fundamental bases that are directly related and are part of all mental health.