Mother types

In the traditional family social system, both parents are involved in raising and nurturing their children. However, mothers tend to be the primary caregivers who uniquely influence their children’s growth.

The relationship between a mother and her child in the first years of life is essential for a healthy development of the child, but as time passes, a mother has to adapt to the new changes and needs of her child.

Mothers have a significant impact on their children to the extent that the way they behave in their later years is attributed to their relationship with their mother. No person understands a child better than a mother. From the moment of birth to adulthood, the child nurtures a deep bond with his mother. This relationship is essential for the development and emotional health of the child.

On many occasions, mothers may ask themselves what is the best way to educate, raise, care …?  But there is no exact answer to that question, as each mother adapts to the needs of her child, and each child is a world apart from another.

Mother-child relationship

The mother-child relationship occurs before birth. It occurs from that moment in which a woman learns that a new being is being gestated in her womb. From that moment begins the purest and most beautiful relationship that exists.

According to studies, from the 16th week of gestation the baby can already hear some sounds from the outside, but the sound that he feels the most and draws his attention is that of his mother’s voice.

From the moment the fetus begins to listen, an extraordinary connection is generated between a mother and her child, therefore, it is recommended that all pregnant women speak to their children when they are in their womb. They can tell them what they are doing, who they are with, sing songs to them and even read them stories; All of this will stimulate the baby and increase the connection between the two of you.

From birth a new connection arises between a mother and her child. During the first hours and days after the baby is born, the mother is in constant physical contact with her baby, either breastfeeding or simply holding her.

Intimate moments between a mother and her child after birth help establish lasting bonds and attachment. Research has shown that a mother’s ability to understand her baby’s needs is very important in establishing a secure mother-child relationship.

Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful moments of motherhood. The baby feeds on its mother, they are still connected. Through touch, response and gaze, the mother-child bond will also continue to be fostered.

As the baby grows, he becomes more independent. He already recognizes himself as an individual different from his mother, with his own abilities. Until the age of 3, the mother-child bond continues to be very close. It is from this age that the child begins to develop more independently. Preschool begins, integrates with other children, with teachers.

A study on the mother-child relationship has made a classification of mothers. This classification creates a prototype of mothers according to their behavior with their children.

Mother types

Impulsive mothers

In this type of mother, the mood prevails over the thoughtful attitude of seeing what her child really needs. They are anxious, in happy moments, in angry moments and excessively emotional.

If they are in a bad mood they are capable of being hurtful and even aggressive in the face of a minor problem; on the contrary, if they are in a good mood, they can be the most understanding person and overlook some more serious faults.

Sometimes it is difficult for these mothers to be stable and differentiate their personal problems from raising their children. They often create problems in their mind through their emotions and relationships, and pass them on directly or indirectly to their children.

Faced with the mother’s instability, the child may present pictures of anguish and even adapt his personality to the mother’s instability, becoming an unstable and insecure child .

Overprotective mothers

These mothers are not capable of seeing their children as separate individuals and they tend to be self-absorbed by them. They are mothers who exaggerate in the care and protection of their children , and in this way they take away their possibility of autonomy and independent development.

Overprotective mothers are generally mothers full of fears for what may happen to their children. These fears may occasionally have been generated in your own childhood through certain types of trauma .

Children of overprotective mothers can be emotionally insecure and find it difficult to trust their own feelings in any matter, because they consider their mother’s opinion to be more important and powerful than their own.

Hypercritical mothers

These types of mothers have high expectations and hopes for their child. They want their children to be the best in practically everything; that they are intelligent, good athletes, have good manners, in other words they seek perfection in their children.

They can become overly controlling, critical, and anxious . They use the criticism system because they believe that this way their child will learn better, but this is a serious mistake, since “educating is teaching, not correcting “. The criticisms are not effective at all and create in the child a feeling of insecurity and suffocate him.

According to Poulter, the children of hypercritical mothers feel that the world is constantly observing and judging them, and they also believe the opinions of others are more important and are above their own.

Mothers absent

They are mothers who ignore motherhood and the responsibility of raising their children, and delegate their responsibilities to other people: parents, grandparents, babysitters, nurseries, etc.

This absence can be physical or emotional. Physical absence is when the mother leaves home leaving her children in the care of other people and emotional absence is when, even though they are present in the same home, they only share with their children the time they have left, which is generally limited or null .

Also in this group are mothers who abandon their children for some periods of time and then guilt invades them and they want to rebuild that relationship they lost, without realizing the consequences of their actions.

The bond between a mother and a child is unique and non-transferable , so in the absence of the mother or in the absence of an active presence, the child will feel lonely, disappointed, guilty and unsafe.

The children of absent mothers tend to suffer from insecurity problems in the long or short term. At the same time, they seek to obtain the acceptance of other people, striving not to make mistakes that disappoint others, always with the fear of feeling abandoned again.

Complete mothers

This is the type of mother who meets most of the “mother” expectations. According to Poulter, only 10% of mothers meet the requirements to be a full mother.

These mothers combine the best elements of the other four types of mothers and more.

They are emotionally balanced mothers , who do not mix their emotional circumstances with their motherhood and are committed to it, regardless of other responsibilities outside the home.

The children of full mothers are usually stable, independent and self-confident, prepared to take risks and enter into relationships without fear of being rejected.

Maternal reaction

Some studies carried out to compare the maternal reaction indicate that the orbitofrontal cortex – related to decision making – is activated at a higher level in a mother’s brain when she looks at her own child compared to other children, regardless of the situation or your child’s mood. This brain area also showed greater activation when a mother saw her child when he cried, rather than when she saw him in play.

The orbitofrontal cortex, which guides maternal behavior, shows a positive correlation not only with pleasant feelings but also with feelings of anxiety experienced by mothers.

In summary … it has been concluded that maternal behavior is guided by complex neural mechanisms that create a perfect connection between a mother and her child.